A major danger to women online: Cyberstalking
What is cyberstalking? And how can you protect yourself? Here are a few stories and tips to keep yourself safe.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being followed? Followers on Twitter can be wonderful! But someone following you without your consent can be dangerous. Women and nonbinary people sometimes enroll in self-defense classes because they’re understandably scared of violence. Women in particular share stories about holding their car keys as a potential weapon in case they run into a mugger in the parking lot. Toronto and other major cities have changed their bylaws in recent years to permit people to take their drink with them into the washroom. That way a woman can always have her drink with her, to make sure a potential rapist doesn’t get an opportunity to slip something into it.
Many of these offline dangers have online equivalents. We recently covered stalkerware, a type of spyware that’s often exploited by abusive spouses, partners, and exes to track their victim through their phone use. There are other ways that violent men can violate their targets’ privacy, whether they’re in a romantic relationship with their target or if their target doesn’t know them at all.
Cyberstalking is a serious threat
At Startpage, we appreciate the real world implications of digital privacy threats. So we’re going to focus on a broader category of cyber threat, of which stalkerware is one of many possible means. Let’s discuss the scary cyberstalking phenomenon. Cyberstalking is when someone uses the internet to spy on and harass their target. Men are sometimes victims, but women are much more likely to be targeted. If you’re a victim of cyberstalking, it’s not your fault. It’s up to online platforms to protect user privacy and do everything possible to spot and prevent cyberstalking. And more importantly, cyberstalking is the fault of cyberstalkers. We need to promote digital privacy, while also emphasizing how important consent is. But if you’re a woman, regardless of age or how tech savvy you are, you should be aware of the cyberstalking threat. So here are a couple of scary stories.
“I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12”
Roni Jacobson shared her cyberstalker story in WIRED in 2016. In the story, her cyberstalker is called “Danny,” but that’s not his real name.
In the beginning, Danny’s interest seemed innocent.
“Danny and I met at camp in 2001, when I was 12 and he was a couple years older. We became friends and would talk occasionally during the school year. Our conversations frequently involved me reading him excerpts from Cosmopolitan’s Guide to Horoscopes, a book I was obsessed with at the time. But soon he was calling practically every day, and I started ignoring his calls, finding it easier to ghost as a self-centered teen than confront him directly. He didn’t take the hint, and I eventually blocked his number.”
It got worse
If only blocking his number was enough to stop him! Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
“Danny (not his real name) has stalked and harassed me, online and off, for almost 15 years — more than half my life at this point. He has used a variety of methods to do so — phone, text, email, Facebook and other social media — updating his tactics with every advance in technology. In the last three years he has also sent dozens, possibly hundreds, of defamatory letters, emails, Facebook and Twitter messages about me to my family, friends, employers, friends’ employers, professional organizations and political offices, including the State Attorney General of New York. (I know because he sent me copies of the letters.)”
That’s one of the problems with cyberstalking. A cyberstalker can exploit multiple online platforms to violate and harass their target. We all have so much information about ourselves online. A cyberstalker may see a photo you posted to Instagram to follow you when you visit your favorite restaurant. A cyberstalker could see who your employer and colleagues are on LinkedIn and track you down at work, both online and offline. And there are so many other ways that cyberstalkers can invade your privacy and put you in danger.
The cyberstalker who targeted real estate agents
Many real estate agents are women. A major part of the job is to show homes to potential buyers. Sometimes a realtor may be alone in a house with their client during an open house. And even when they’re not showing homes, a realtor has to be in constant communication with home sellers and buyers in order to do her job. Andy Castillo is alleged to have taken advantage of these safety vulnerabilities while women work to sell real estate.
A scary story
Sarah Coble reported for InfoSecurity Magazine:
“A Texas man has been arrested on suspicion of sending perverse and threatening text messages to real estate agents across America.
Lubbock resident Andy Castillo allegedly used multiple phone numbers and an app to mask his identity when cyber-stalking as many as 100 realtors in up to 22 different states.
The 56-year-old is accused of sending pornographic images to agents along with sexually explicit text messages soliciting sex. It is further alleged that Castillo attempted to solicit sex from some agents’ children.
Castillo is accused of downloading photographs of agents’ kids from social media and sending the pictures to the agents, along with chilling descriptions of his desire to sexually assault their children.
All the real estate agents targeted in this particularly disturbing cyber-stalking case are women.
Detective Joseph Scaramucci said Castillo ‘was searching the top 10 realtors in different cities’ and ‘saving female realtors’ photographs right off the internet with their contact information.’”
That news was reported in January 2020. But by December, the story got even worse:
“A man from Texas, charged in January with cyberstalking realtors across the United States, has been indicted for capital murder in the deaths of two women.
Andy Castillo was arrested on January 6 for allegedly cyber-stalking as many as 100 realtors in up to 22 different states.
The 57-year-old Lubbock resident was accused of sending sexually explicit messages and pornographic images to agents via text message.
Realtors also received messages containing images of their own children that had been downloaded from social media along with descriptions of the ways in which the sender wanted to sexually assault the minors.”
What happened?
For clarity, Castillo has been investigated for cyberstalking since January 2020, but by December he was charged with murder. The cyberstalking is still being investigated! But now he’s alleged to be a murderer too.
As with rape and sexual assault, very few cyberstalkers ever face legal consequences for their crimes. And all too often, women in danger get victim-blamed. “What were you doing to make him do that?” We must change our culture so the focus is on the people who commit violent acts, rather than on blaming those targeted by violence. And Castillo’s story illustrates that sometimes cyberstalkers can kill! It shouldn’t take a murder charge for justice to be brought to a cyberstalker.
Safety Tips
Victims should never ever be blamed. If you a victim of cyberstalking, it’s 100% the cyberstalker’s fault. But there are a few things you may be able to do to improve your safety:
- If you love to post photos on social media of your favorite restaurants and other fun places, proceed with caution. Don’t post photos while you’re at the location or event. Wait a day or so to post, so stalkers can’t follow you offline by keeping up with your Instagram feed.
- Avoid posting photos of your home that can be used to determine exactly where you live.
- More importantly, never post photos of your children’s school or daycare. Your kids deserve privacy and not to be stalked.
- Look through your favorite social media platforms and make sure you turn location-sharing off. You might be sharing your offline location inadvertently if you leave your default settings.
- If you’re visiting a different city, make sure someone you trust knows you’re going there.
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